What can you expect from your horse?
Your expectations towards your horse determines the quality of your relationship.
Are these expectations mutual? Are they welcome? Understandable, useful, possible, too high, too low, realistic?
One of the biggest problems in horse training is frustration. Frustration of the human or the horse, when expectations are not fulfilled.
And that makes expectation a pitfall. For the word implies that the other must first give and I may take. But that's not how it works in a relationship - not even with your partner.
For trust and bonding, you have to make the first step and give.
Because what I 'expect' from my horse is what I am willing to give.
That in the connection with traditional horse training already seems more difficult. But let's start at zero:
Am I willing to be myself, open up, be vulnerable and let go?
Can I meet the other in who he is because I dare to meet myself?
Only then will the horse come, take, and give back. Not because I ask, but because I give.
If I expect too much, too soon, there will be a struggle. And struggle is asking for something I'm not willing to give. Asking for something I haven't yet earned to get.
Sometimes this confrontation is good, sometimes we have to meet the boundaries to know where they are. But know that they are also YOUR limits and that if you go beyond them, you will act unjustly.
Do you often or quickly end up in frustration and disappointment? Take a step back. Go back to the connection. Throw out all the lines (literally) and see what happens.
Is he not coming? Go back even more and come back to yourself. Everything you can ask under the saddle or with a bridle, you can also ask at liberty.
Whether he does it is determined by the depth of your bond. Be honest with yourself and give it a chance. It's the most honest and unconditional feedback you can ever get.
Use it to grow.